Having Your Own Back: Thoughts on Self-Confidence
by Lisa Peterson
Have you ever wondered if there was one distinct skill you could develop that would help you accomplish any goal? Well, I have some good news... there is! And the skill in question? Self-confidence! You may be thinking, “well, I already have confidence in myself", but confidence and self-confidence are not the same. Let me explain.
Confidence is trusting that you have the ability to do something because you’ve done it in the past. For example, if you have your driver’s license, and you want to go see a friend, you trust your ability to drive there. You’re not spending a lot of time thinking, "What if? What if I get a red light? What if it rains?" You know it could take longer and you may have to go a different route, but you are confident that you can get there. This confidence does not carry over to all aspects of our lives. If I were to ask you to go drive a boat, grow a new business, or start something you have never done before, you would need self-confidence.
And what is self-confidence? It’s trusting your ability to learn what you need to do to reach your goal. It’s being able to manage yourself, your brain and emotions along the way. For example, I am very confident I could pass a boat driving course. I don’t know the rules of navigation, but I could learn them. I don’t know how to drive a boat, but I could learn and manage my fear and practice. Even if I don’t pass the test the first time, I believe it is ok to fail and try again. I know how to be uncomfortable and that I have my own back when I fail. Self-confidence allows you to try new things and love yourself along the way! How do you create self-confidence?
Get to know yourself. Embrace all of you with love. You don’t need to fix anything, hide from your flaws or ignore them. You just need to be curious about yourself.
Build a healthy relationship with yourself. You need to talk to yourself with kindness, have your own back, manage your thoughts about yourself, and trust yourself when you say you’re going to do something.
Be willing to feel any emotion that comes your way. Fear, failure, doubt, worry - many times, we want to ignore these feelings. I want to invite you to feel them in your body and not push them away. When we push away our feelings, we end up overeating, overdrinking, spending too much time on social media and bingeing way too much Netflix!
Understand that you can be uncomfortable as you work towards your goals. The more uncomfortable you allow yourself to be as you work toward and experience new goals in your life, the more self-confidence you will build!
And now, some helpful new thoughts to think about along your self-confidence journey:
"I believe in my ability to get this result no matter how long it takes, how many times I have to fail or what I need to learn." "I enjoy making the impossible happen." "Failure is the way to success." "Discomfort is the currency for success."
Good Luck!! You can do this! Remember, confidence comes from thoughts about what you have accomplished in the past. Self-confidence comes from being secure with yourself and your abilities as you create an abundant future!
Lisa has always been passionate and involved in the fitness and wellness industry. As a certified yoga teacher, kickboxing instructor and life coach, Lisa believes that it is in working on our mind as well as our body that we are able to best create the results we want in all areas of our lives.